Your Marriage: Is it Drama or Trauma?
Many newlywed couples look at marriage in a positive light, and while that’s good to some degree, marriage is not always sunshine and rainbows. Partners are not always happy with each other. Indeed, all relationships have their ups and downs, but it can be hard to determine if something is a dealbreaker or if it is something that you should ignore and move on from.
When conflict rears is ugly head, is it a serious situation? Should you stay or should you go? Here’s how to tell when something is drama or when it’s trauma.
Communication Breakdown
Good communication is extremely important in a marriage, as a breakdown in communication is one of the top reasons for divorce, just behind infidelity. When there is an issue, one spouse may cut off communication with the other. This may be OK as a temporary measure, but when taken to extremes, the relationship can start to dissolve quickly.
Constant Conflict
The quality of the entire family relationship, including the children, is critically important for the success of the marriage. Constant conflict has a long-term impact on children. Occasional mild levels of conflict may not do too much harm, but when there is a lot of high-conflict family drama, such as shouting matches and aggression, this can turn into family trauma. Everyone becomes affected.
Unfairness vs. Inequity
Relationships require give and take. Sometimes there may be times when it’s not 50/50. Maybe it’s 60/40 or 70/30. These times of unfairness should be temporary, though. If you constantly feel like you’re the giver in the marriage, then resentment can start to build up. If the inequity keeps going for too long, you may feel as though you are being taken advantage of. This can eventually lead to divorce.
Anger vs. Contempt
Your spouse is not always going to make you happy. It’s normal to feel angry at them from time to time when they do something you don’t agree with. For example, maybe they stayed late at work and didn’t let you know. Perhaps they forget to run an errand you asked them several times to do. Anger, however, should be temporary. If you keep holding a grudge, anger can easily lead to contempt. Once you feel contempt for your spouse, you may not respect them anymore. You may not be able to get along with them at all, and this can definitely cause your marriage to sour.
Seek Legal Help
When your partner does something that makes you upset, you may wonder: is it divorce-worthy? Are you overreacting? Sometimes it depends on how you look at it.
Is your marriage experiencing minor drama or is it more serious, like trauma? Contact a Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. for legal help. We can assist you in determining the next steps. Schedule a consultation by filling out the online form or calling 954-764-4330.
Source:
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202307/is-it-marital-drama-or-marital-trauma
