Why 50/50 Child Custody Isn’t Always Best
When parents get divorced, there is a lot of talk about joint custody and how it’s best for the child. That’s because the child gets equal access to both parents. Is that always a good thing?
While 50/50 custody and split living arrangements work well for many children, not all benefit from it. The truth is that every person parents the same way. It’s clear that some parents (primarily mothers) spend much more time parenting their children than others. So when the parenting time is not equal during the marriage, why should it be equal after the couple divorces? This just sets up children for confusion. Here are some reasons why 50/50 parenting is not always the best and should not be recommended in every child custody case.
Unequal Parenting Ability
Let’s face it: not everybody has the same parenting ability. Some people are more nurturing than others. It’s not uncommon for one person to do the majority of the parenting, especially in the early years. A parent may not spend more than a few hours a week with their child as it is, so why should they get equal parenting time in a divorce?
Different Parenting Patterns
Some parents are active with their children, fully engaged in what they are doing. Then there are the passive parents, who don’t really make the effort to engage with their child. They may expect their child to just hang out with them and do what the parent wants to do. The focus should be on the quality of parenting, not the amount of time spent.
Lack of Knowledge by Courts
Judges know the law but they lack knowledge of parental personality dynamics. Parents get attached to their kids and kids get attached to their parents. If they knew more about these attachments and how they affect parenting, they may make fewer 50/50 custody determinations or be more willing to alter them when children suffer.
Logistical Challenges
The logistics of split custody arrangements can be challenging for children. Who are they going home with today? Plus, distances between households may mean long drives each way every few days. Children can feel confused and anxious. They may live in two households but feel as though they have no home.
Fairness is More for Grownups
For children, 50/50 custody may not seem fair. They may prefer to spend more time with one parent than the other. Having to split their time equally can lead to psychological problems, especially if the parents differ greatly in their parenting techniques and abilities. They may experience neglect at some points, which certainly is not fair. The fairness is meant for the grownups.
Seek Legal Help
Joint 50/50 custody is not always in a child’s best interests. Joint custody is meant to be fair for the parents, but it’s not always fair for the children.
Fort Lauderdale child custody lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help you come up with a custody arrangement that works best for your children. Call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation.
Source:
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-on-automatic/202307/8-reasons-5050-custody-arrangements-may-not-work