What to Ask Before Reuniting With an Ex

When most couples break up, they split up for good. However, some couples get back together and rekindle the love they had. Some couples even remarry a former spouse again, thinking the second time’s the charm.

Celebrity couple Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were first linked in 2002 before calling off their engagement in 2004. After failed marriages to other people, Lopez and Affleck reunited and got married in 2022. Two years later, the couple is now in the midst of a divorce.

Sometimes love doesn’t conquer all. You may be swept up in the thrill of rediscovering old passions, but many marriage counselors recommend taking a clinical approach to reuniting with an ex. When a couple gets back together after spending decades apart, they need to ask the right questions so they can be sure that their relationship will last. Here’s what you need to know.

Do We Both Understand Why We Broke Up?

This may seem like an obvious question, but some people really don’t have a clear answer about why their relationship fizzled out in the first place. It’s a huge red flag if you cannot get an answer without creating tension. You need to figure out what issues and patterns caused you to break up before and how you can prevent that from happening again. Sometimes it can help to seek therapy to gain answers.

Are Either of Us Just Lonely?

Loneliness can bring about feelings of wistfulness. You may want to reminisce about your past relationships and this can make you wish for a reunion. Instead of being swept up in nostalgia for an old love, think about strategies for finding connections that have nothing to do with romantic love. For example, you may wish to strengthen your ties with friends and family.

What Has Changed This Time Around?

Will you do things differently this time around? Maybe you have changed what you’re expecting in a relationship. Some people seek therapy after a breakup and learn to communicate and express their emotions better.

Also, you need to think about what has changed about your partner. Many people mature over time. They have gone to therapy and worked on themselves. They have been through other relationships and know what they want in a partner.

How Will We Know If This is Working?

Come up with some benchmarks that will help both of you figure out if things are better this time around. For example, are you falling into old patterns? Will you speak up this time and put clearer boundaries in place? Some people get stuck, so avoid dragging things out.

Seek Legal Help

When a relationship ends the first time around, you have to understand why. Reuniting with an ex may seem like a fairytale, but these relationships do not always have happy endings.

Reuniting with an ex can lead to another breakup or divorce. If you are in this situation, speak to Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. We can help you understand your legal options. To schedule a consultation, call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form.

Source:

nytimes.com/2024/08/20/well/family/affleck-lopez-divorce-reunite-ex.html