What Not to Say to Someone Getting Divorced
Chances are, you know someone who has gone through a divorce. Dealing with this situation can be difficult. What do you say? What do you do?
You want to be supportive to your loved one, but the right words may escape you. You may be nervous about what to say.
What you plan to say may seem nice and supportive, but is it really? You may have good intentions, but they may be misconstrued as jabs and insults. If someone you know has gone through a divorce, here are some things you should not say.
Did You Try Therapy?
It’s never a good idea to suggest what you think the couple should have done. Most couples do not give up so easily. More rush into marriage than they do divorce. A couple will usually do all they can to save their marriage. Don’t ask them if they have tried therapy, dates, vacations, more sex, or anything else. This makes them feel as though they didn’t try hard enough. More than likely, they did.
I Never Thought He Was Good for You
While this statement may seem positive, it has an air of superiority, like you knew all along the marriage would fail. This can make a person feel awful. Instead, focus on the current situation, not what you saw decades ago. You can say something like “This seems like a positive step” or “I trust that you know what you’re doing.” These are both more positive and don’t focus on the other spouse’s behavior.
Do You Have a Good Lawyer?
If you are super close to the person and know how bad their spouse is, then this may be a valid question to ask. However, asking this to a neighbor, co-worker, or acquaintance is not a good idea. It’s almost like you’re looking for details about the divorce. Don’t worry about their legal help.
What Will This Do to the Kids?
This is a judgy statement that makes it seem as though the couple will harm their children with the divorce and they are bad parents. Even if you think it’s a bad idea to divorce if you have kids, don’t protect your biases onto others. Each child is different and many parents ensure their children have the support they need, so it’s never a good idea to make assumptions. It’s OK to ask how the kids are doing, but never assume they are in a bad situation.
Seek Legal Help
When someone you know is ending their marriage, it’s best to be respectful. You may think you’re being nice, but sometimes words can be hurtful.
Divorce is complex in many ways. If you are planning to divorce or have questions about the process, contact Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. to get the help you need. Call 954-764-4330 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation.
Source:
oprah.com/relationships/talking-to-friend-getting-divorced/all
