How Gray Divorce Can Affect Adult Children’s Lives

Gray divorce — divorce after the age of 50 — has been growing since 1990. More and more couples are divorcing as they near retirement. This can affect not only their finances but also the feelings of their children.

Couples who are experiencing marital strife often wait until their children are older before divorcing. But adult children are sharing their life experiences after their parents divorced late in life and the outcomes may be surprising.

No matter how old a child is, they are affected by their parents’ divorce. While adults may be more resilient and have a higher level of cognitive understanding, they are not immune to the effects of their parents’ divorce. While in their 20s and 30s, children are considered adults but they are still finding their way in life. They may be in college working on an education. They may be starting a career or family of their own. Hearing about their parents’ divorce can really rock their world.

It can be especially hard with a close-knit family. Many adults are still close with their parents, siblings, grandparents, and even aunts, uncles, and cousins. Their family ends up never being the same. Family celebrations and traditions are gone forever, so these adult children grieve the loss of the way their family once was.

Besides grief and loss, adult children may also feel:

• Shock and confusion. If the divorce is unexpected, it can cause confusion and disrupt their sense of stability.
• Anger or resentment. They may harbor anger towards one or both parents, especially if there is infidelity or unfair treatment.
• Seeing parents go through pain and loneliness can make adult children feel sad.

Children face the following struggles when their parents divorce:

• Trust issues. Witnessing their parents’ separation may lead to doubts about the stability of relationships and marriages in their own lives.
• Fear of commitment: Some adult children might fear repeating their parents’ mistakes and hesitate to commit to long-term relationships.
• Changes in family dynamics: Relationships with parents can become strained if adult children are forced to take sides or mediate conflicts.

Divorce later on in life leads to long-term issues for the adult children. Adults may reframe their childhood memories in light of new information about their parents’ relationship. Plus, many develop mental health issues. Anxiety, depression, or stress related to the divorce can surface even years later.

It is important for adult children to be proactive and cope with these changes. Professional help can help adult children process their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Honest conversations with parents can help alleviate misunderstandings and feelings of blame.

Seek Legal Help

There is never a good time to divorce. If you have children, they will be affected by their parents’ split, even if the divorce happens in adulthood.

Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. is here for you with compassionate, dedicated, and effective representation. Count on us to guide you through the divorce process with ease. Schedule a consultation today by filling out the online form or calling 954-764-4330.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/home-will-never-be-the-same-again/202412/late-in-life-parental-divorce-can-upend-adult