Divorce Dilemma: Why You Feel Like the Bad Guy

Relationships are complicated, and ending them can be even more complex. In a divorce, it’s not uncommon for both spouses to feel like the bad guy, even when the split is amicable.

There are several reasons why this might happen. First, it’s important to understand that divorce is not simple. Whether you have been married for a few years or a few decades, it will be complicated. And even if you and your spouse have agreed to everything in the divorce, it still won’t be easy.

That’s because emotions tend to get in the way. They can change at a moment’s notice and make life more complicated. This is especially true when it comes to divorce. Even when you should be happy about moving on from a bad marriage, emotions can ruin all that for you. Here are some reasons why you may feel like the bad guy in your divorce.

You’re Guilty About Asking for Fairness

In a divorce, a person should get what is fair. And you should definitely ask for it without feeling guilty. But at the same time, many people feel like they are giving up too much.

The spouse initiating the divorce may feel guilty about ending the marriage. They may also feel selfish for being happy about the divorce for whatever reason, whether it be pursuing their own happiness, breaking up the family, or causing financial hardship.

The spouse who did not initiate the divorce may also feel guilty, but for different reasons. They may feel like they need to work extra hard to protect what they rightfully earned. They can and should fight for financial security and child custody rights. However, there is still often guilt involved because both parties want to advocate for themselves.

You Create Negative Narratives

Why did you divorce? Here’s where things get tricky. You need to come up with a good reason, right? Many people create negative narratives that put their spouse in a bad light. This is done for two main reasons: it helps justify the divorce and it makes it easier to move on. It’s harder to move on if you paint your spouse as the perfect person.

You Want to Be Angry

Divorce is not usually seen as a happy event, but many couples make it worse than it really is. That’s because anger is often used as a tactic to aid in emotional detachment. If you’re angry, it’s easier to divorce. You feel less sadness and regret. You can justify your actions by focusing on your spouse’s flaws. That’s why legal battles bring out the worst in people, as both parties feel the need to defend themselves from the other party.

Seek Legal Help

Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. You’re up and down with your emotions, and even though you and your spouse may both want a divorce, it’s not necessarily an easy or happy time.

Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer Edward J. Jennings, P.A. can help take the stress out of a divorce. We’ll take care of everything so you can focus on yourself and your family. Schedule a consultation today by filling out the online form or calling 954-764-4330.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/202503/3-reasons-why-both-spouses-feel-like-the-bad-guy-in-a-divorce